I was baptized today. Yes. I was baptized today, August 23, 2009 (on my friend Peter's birthday - Happy Birthday man!). I have wrestled with this decision for 13 years, and finally came to a point of surrender. Here is my story.
I made a profession of faith when I was 12 in 1985 and was baptized. Between 1985 and 1996, I am not sure if I was actually saved or not. There were times when I could look back and see fruit, but there were some very dark and sinful times too. In college, most of the time I was living a sinful life with very little to no fruit. In November 1996, I know I was saved. I finally came to a point of desperation and despair and crying out to Christ to be saved, I completely surrendered to Him. I’ve no doubt that from that moment on Jesus has been and is my Lord and Savior. Since that time, Christ has continually changed me, making me more like Him, freeing me from sin, teaching me His ways and His Word, and using me for His Kingdom and His glory. The fruit, since that time, is plentiful and a confirmation of His saving grace.
The problem is I was never baptized after being saved in 1996. Like I said, I have wrestled with this for 13 years. Of course I understand that baptism has no saving power in itself, and I am already saved by grace through Christ Jesus. But, I can't get past the fact that I have been disobedient. I think to deal with that, I convinced myself that I was saved in 1985 and there was no need for me to get baptized again. Still, every time the subject came up, I would feel uncomfortable.
Three weeks ago, our pastor preached on baptism. I listened intently to John's sermon wanting to come to a conclusion once and for all on this issue. But I actually hardened my heart, because afterwards, I felt confident that I did not need to get baptized and even told Melissa so. Still, one thing John said kept gnawing at me all week; the thought that baptism is the first act of obedience of a believer and mine might be out of order. It all hinged on when I became a Christian.
The Spirit revealed several things to me in the ensuing week. The biggest revelation is that I am not sure I was saved in 1985. I could not say with certainty one way or the other. Then I became okay with that. I became okay with not knowing. Once that happened, I knew what I had to do. I had to be baptized.
The following Sunday morning, I felt the Lord say to me that I needed to stop being disobedient and to stop being prideful and quit worrying about what people might think and submit to Him. So, I submitted – saying to Him that whatever He would have me do, I'll do. Of course, the pressure to not be baptized is ever present. After all, how can a deacon, a Sunday school teacher, GROW teacher, SALT student, praise team member, choir member and decision counselor have his baptism out of order? And what would my family (both sides) say or think. What would all the people I've taught over the years think? Christ told me to stop worrying about those things. The only important thing is that I obey Him, faithfully, no matter the circumstances or worldly accolades we may obtain or what others may think. Turns out, by they way, that every family member was supportive of this decision - answer to prayer.
John also said that the longer you wait to take the first step of obedience, the longer it is before He gives you the next step. While, I definitely see Christ's leading and blessing in my life, I cannot help but wonder if He has something for me to do that I am missing out on, simply because I have not been obedient in this very first step. So, I resolved to stop analyzing it all and just obey. That is difficult for an analytical engineer/attorney to do.
To sum up, I could not say for sure if I was saved in 1985 and that is okay. The fact that I grew so uneasy every time the subject of baptism came up leads me to believe, now, that I probably was not. Nevertheless, if I was saved at 12 years old then I am being baptized a second time - no big deal. But if I wasn't, then I have never been baptized as a believer and I needed to be baptized immediately.
It feels good to put pride aside and trust and obey Him. I feel a burden lifted. I feel joy and peace. I feel excitement to see what God has in store for me next. I also feel humbled to be a part of what God is doing. For I am just 1 of 107 today, and 1 of millions who have gone before me and will come after me all proclaiming that Jesus is Lord and Savior and we are not ashamed!
God is not only moving in my life this way but in the lives of many. Only 85 of th 107 were originally slated to be batized today. Another 22 people realized that their baptism was out of order too and came forward. What an amazing day! The entire service was nothing but baptisms. Awesome! There were more too. In the weeks leading up to this, we have already had dozens come forward to be baptized with similar stories to my own. The alter was flooded with people in prayer and making decisions today. Amazing! Jesus is Lord! He alone is Savior! To God be all glory, honor & praise!
Jason
I made a profession of faith when I was 12 in 1985 and was baptized. Between 1985 and 1996, I am not sure if I was actually saved or not. There were times when I could look back and see fruit, but there were some very dark and sinful times too. In college, most of the time I was living a sinful life with very little to no fruit. In November 1996, I know I was saved. I finally came to a point of desperation and despair and crying out to Christ to be saved, I completely surrendered to Him. I’ve no doubt that from that moment on Jesus has been and is my Lord and Savior. Since that time, Christ has continually changed me, making me more like Him, freeing me from sin, teaching me His ways and His Word, and using me for His Kingdom and His glory. The fruit, since that time, is plentiful and a confirmation of His saving grace.
The problem is I was never baptized after being saved in 1996. Like I said, I have wrestled with this for 13 years. Of course I understand that baptism has no saving power in itself, and I am already saved by grace through Christ Jesus. But, I can't get past the fact that I have been disobedient. I think to deal with that, I convinced myself that I was saved in 1985 and there was no need for me to get baptized again. Still, every time the subject came up, I would feel uncomfortable.
Three weeks ago, our pastor preached on baptism. I listened intently to John's sermon wanting to come to a conclusion once and for all on this issue. But I actually hardened my heart, because afterwards, I felt confident that I did not need to get baptized and even told Melissa so. Still, one thing John said kept gnawing at me all week; the thought that baptism is the first act of obedience of a believer and mine might be out of order. It all hinged on when I became a Christian.
The Spirit revealed several things to me in the ensuing week. The biggest revelation is that I am not sure I was saved in 1985. I could not say with certainty one way or the other. Then I became okay with that. I became okay with not knowing. Once that happened, I knew what I had to do. I had to be baptized.
The following Sunday morning, I felt the Lord say to me that I needed to stop being disobedient and to stop being prideful and quit worrying about what people might think and submit to Him. So, I submitted – saying to Him that whatever He would have me do, I'll do. Of course, the pressure to not be baptized is ever present. After all, how can a deacon, a Sunday school teacher, GROW teacher, SALT student, praise team member, choir member and decision counselor have his baptism out of order? And what would my family (both sides) say or think. What would all the people I've taught over the years think? Christ told me to stop worrying about those things. The only important thing is that I obey Him, faithfully, no matter the circumstances or worldly accolades we may obtain or what others may think. Turns out, by they way, that every family member was supportive of this decision - answer to prayer.
John also said that the longer you wait to take the first step of obedience, the longer it is before He gives you the next step. While, I definitely see Christ's leading and blessing in my life, I cannot help but wonder if He has something for me to do that I am missing out on, simply because I have not been obedient in this very first step. So, I resolved to stop analyzing it all and just obey. That is difficult for an analytical engineer/attorney to do.
To sum up, I could not say for sure if I was saved in 1985 and that is okay. The fact that I grew so uneasy every time the subject of baptism came up leads me to believe, now, that I probably was not. Nevertheless, if I was saved at 12 years old then I am being baptized a second time - no big deal. But if I wasn't, then I have never been baptized as a believer and I needed to be baptized immediately.
It feels good to put pride aside and trust and obey Him. I feel a burden lifted. I feel joy and peace. I feel excitement to see what God has in store for me next. I also feel humbled to be a part of what God is doing. For I am just 1 of 107 today, and 1 of millions who have gone before me and will come after me all proclaiming that Jesus is Lord and Savior and we are not ashamed!
God is not only moving in my life this way but in the lives of many. Only 85 of th 107 were originally slated to be batized today. Another 22 people realized that their baptism was out of order too and came forward. What an amazing day! The entire service was nothing but baptisms. Awesome! There were more too. In the weeks leading up to this, we have already had dozens come forward to be baptized with similar stories to my own. The alter was flooded with people in prayer and making decisions today. Amazing! Jesus is Lord! He alone is Savior! To God be all glory, honor & praise!
Jason
